Inspired by a True Story
by: Charlie McDowell
Based on the wildly popular Twitter feed Dear Girls Above Me, a roman à clef about how thinking like a couple of girls turned one single guy into a better man.
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors—two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties—on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour. Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
After being unceremoniously dumped by the girl he was certain was “the one,” Charlie realized his neighbors’ conversations were not only amusing, but also offered him access to a completely uncensored woman’s perspective on the world. From the importance of effectively Facebook-stalking potential girlfriends and effortlessly pulling off pastel, to learning when in the early stages of dating is too presumptuous to bring a condom and how to turn food poisoning into a dieting advantage, the girls get Charlie into trouble, but they also get him out of it—without ever having a clue of their impact on him.
Dear Girls Above Me,"Isn't it weird that we use the same word for the devil as we do for the most fab fabric?" Are you talking about Satan and satin?And that's basically how Dear Girls Above Me started. Just imagine this dude living in what I called an apartement complex and just above him live these two "blondes" that are totally airheads and everything they say can be heard. Some dudes will say that hearing these girls must be like heaven, but others (including me) would be totally hell. They are very very airheads. Take another peek:
Dear Girls Above Me,"She's wearing 5" heels tonight? That bitch! Time to bust out my 5 3/4" stilettos!" Shit just got real.To many his life more pleasurable, he made this twitter account to post (more like get off one's chest) about these girls, the tweets got so popular that he post this post. That's why its non-fiction. But the book is not only about the girls, but his life too. He was dumped after a long time relationship and its time to move one. But how will he go into the dating system again when his roommate probably is gay and he keep hearing these airhead girls that don't say anything good to use in real life.
Dear Girls Above Me,"How do I spell... this word?" Unfortunately, I don't have a visual, but aren't you pointing to it?The book is hilarious! Very very very funny, indeed. Not only whatever stupid things these girls have for conversations, but his life is also very funny. I don't know he gets into these kind of problems that you actually asks yourself "wtf?". Like, for example, I said that he doesn't know (at the beginning) if his roommate (also friend) is actually gay or not. So he took him to the gay parade! It was such an awkward scene that I felt awkward myself and I wasn't in the scene.
Dear Girls Above Me,"So I gave him two options, breakfast in bed or a blow job. Guess what he picked?" Well I didn't smell burnt toast, so...Maybe you are thinking that he, whose name is Charlie, didn't ever went upstairs to tell them something. He actually went and not only once, he was even invited to a party. The first time he went to confront his neighbors, he got distracted (not by her looks) mostly beacuse they didn't let him talk much. They were new in the complex and he was the first neighbor they met. He introduced himself and when he was going to say about the noise, one of the girls invite him to the party. It was like that every time he went, until one day he actually was going to say somthing about it and one of the girls said that if he was going to complain about the noise, the owner of the complex was going to kick them out, because apparently some other neighbours complained. He stop from saying anything, because at the end he cared about them and he was twitter famous thanks to them. Funny the guy, right?
Dear Girls Above Me,"There are these billboards everywhere saying the world's coming to an end on Friday!" Does Harry Potter happen to be on them?I know that you may feel like I have told the whole story, but you are wrong, there is more than I'm letting know. If you want a real laugh, I would recommend this book. But please do not read it outdoors because people might think you are crazy because you will laugh so much. Charlie is a good character/person, and these girls (apart from airheads) are good too. So, give it a try and read it. Go outside of your comfort zone and read this book, you will not regret it. More Dear Girls Above Me will be below, they may be a lot here, but there's even more in the book.
Dear Girls Above Me,"No! The 'which Sex and the City girl are you' survey I took said I'm Samantha. I'm so a Carrie!" Don't beat yourself up, I got Miranda.
Dear Girls Above Me,
"If I got a dime for every sex dream a guy's had of me, I'd have like 500 dollars and 75 cents." Dimes can't make that number.
Dear Girls Above Me,"It's time we get a dog!" Please, do not get a— "But we should invent wireless leashes first." Oh okay, I'm good.
Dear Girls Above Me,
"I know this might sound stupid." Not again, please no— "But does air have fat calories in it?" 9-1-1.
Dear Girls Above Me,
"If we wanna leave her party, say the words, I'm super drunk." This might be confusing as you actually get "super drunk."
Dear Girls Above Me,"It's official, I deleted my Facebook." Nice, I have a lot of respect— "Luke and Sara went to Cancun!? Reactivate!" 14 seconds.
Dear Girls Above Me,"So I guess they found Obama Bin Laden pretty much dead at a house in Iraq." Literally nothing in that sentence was correct.
Dear Girls Above Me,
"So I missed that eclipse thingy last night. I'll just catch in next year." The previous solstice lunnar eclipse occured in 1638.
Dear Girls Above Me,"Did you hear that all these kids were rescued in Chile after being trapped in some mountain?" Miners, not minors.
Dear Girls Above Me,"I think I wanna learn a new language. Maybe a litle parle vu espanol, por favors?" I'm not sure which Rossetta Stone to get you.
Dear Girls Above Me,"This might be a stupid question—" Girls, there's no such thing as a — "Do fish drink water?" Never mind, stupid question.
Dear Girls Above Me,"Ahhhhhh!" What? "Ahhhhhh!" What? "Ahhhhhh!" What!? "Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce!" Thanks for wasting my whats.
Dear Girls Above Me,"Hey Claire, what day is it?" Oh no, please don't sing—"It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday." It's Thursday!
Dear Girls Above Me,"I pretended to take out my wallet but he never stopped me! Who makes a ot girl split the bill!?" The guy you still slept with.
Dear Girls Above Me,"You hear that? I think the guy downstairs is having gay sex! He keeps screaming out Derek." Nope, just watching the Lakers game.
Dear Girls Above Me,"Oh my God, one of my wheel-tire thingys is flat! What the hell should I do, get a new car?" Semms like your only option.
Dear Girls Above Me,"Ellen DeGeneres is funny and all, but it's really weird how much she loves her car." Her wife's name is Portia.
Dear Girls Above Me,(singing Aladdin) "I can show you my tits. Shining, shimmering, hard nipples." You didn't even have boobs when Aladdin came out!
Dear Girls Above Me,"What the hell does Easter have to do with Jesus anyway?" You don't know? He's the one who hires the Bunny.
Dear Girls Above Me,"So far my biggest dissappointment of 2011 was realizing that real bowling is way harder than Wii bowling." You'v had a rough year.
Dear Girls Above Me,"So this is fiction or nonfiction? I'm confused, why can't we just say real life or fake life?" Okay, Harry Potter is fake life.
Dear Girls Above Me,"She was totally bragging about changing a flat tire. Who cares, that's why they invented AA." Pretty sure you're missing an A.
Dear Girls Above Me,(walking out the door) "Wait, gatting a CAT scan doens't involve like a real cat, right?" Only if it's raining cats and dogs.
Dear Girls Above Me,"If a car is out of gas, can you fart into it to make it drive?" Meet you in the parking lot in 10.
Dear Girls Above Me,"We need to talk." Uh oh, are you guys okay? "Did you switch over to iced coffee without telling me?" That bitch!
Dear Girls Above Me,"Cathy, talk to me! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't pee, knowing you're mad at me." Don't let Cathy mess with urinary system.
Dear Girls Above Me,"The psychic said I have a serious stalker in my life!" I much prefer "a friend who always listens," thank you very much.
Dear Girls Above Me,"The phychic said I'll marry a redhead! I can't have fire crotch kids! I think their pubes will be the least of their problems.